Our Legacy: Couple Squasher

Every Squad Leader leaves a legacy. This is the story of Robby, Megan and mine.

Our legacy: The Squashlers.

Now if you have no idea what that means have no fear, I didn’t either when I first heard it. It sounds an awful like a mythical creature that lurks in the shadows waiting to pounce on you. Well, that’s not far from the truth. Except we are not mythical, in fact we are very very real, and many have been pounced on by us. To the point of being Squashed.

I my friend am a Squasher who has been a part of creating many Squashlers. Our squads wonderful word mash up of all of the squashed couples that we helped ensure.

It wasn’t by accident. It was pretty calculated actually. The three of us all had “potential couple” war stories from our race. Messy heart stuff we walked into with someone else on our original squads. No matter how well we thought we were protecting ourselves at the time, it left a sticky residue that we didn’t want to see our squad covered in. So, we made a choice that they were not going to have to deal with the mess of relationships on the field, we would put an end to it the second we saw it sprout up.

So, we did. Any instance of batting eye lashes, flirty banter, or side ways glances to the opposite sex caught our attention. If it happened more frequently, then it was time to squash it. It always started out the same way, awkward and fumbling for words. I knew it was worth fighting to protect their journey, to not let it get mucked up by time spent dreaming of someone else.

However, That did not make it any easier to do. Each time, I sat in a conversation as if it was my first time. Not wanting to accuse, wanting them to understand I was for them, which is why we were talking in the first place.

After more conversations then I thought I could handle, the squad was picking up on our mini interventions. If you liked someone, you’re getting talked to. If we think you like someone, you’re getting talked to. If we think there’s potential that you might start liking someone, you’re getting talked to. If you spend hours in the corner having whispered conversations with someone, you’re definitely getting talked to.

Suddenly I got really nervous, I knew this was worth fighting for but I didn’t want them to think I was going to throw them in a lions den if they so much as sat next to someone of the opposite sex.

Then something shifted, we were no longer coming to people, they were coming to us. Open, willing honest hearts about feelings, possible feelings, lust, everything, it all came pouring out. I didn’t expect it, it shocked the hell out of me in fact.  

We got to walk out their feelings with them, we got to talk about the importance of not putting themselves in compromising situations, of honoring the other persons journey and letting them walk it out heart tangle free. We were able to pull from our own experience and encourage them with a “been there done that, it’s not worth it”. It was a month of many long awkward conversations, and ones that brought me hope that there was a different way to do this journey.

It was one month and then we dropped it. There were very few instances where talks were needed after that. People got it. Now don’t get me wrong, everyone didn’t suddenly stop fancying everyone else. No, they learned to honor their covenant and put it on hold. They learned to be present where they were and not compromise the incredible journey they had the opportunity to go on.

Now hear me when I say the three of us are for relationships. We all want someone to put a ring on it, or I guess in Robby’s case he wants to put a ring on it. We also understand there is a time for that, and it is not during a year where you are getting physically, spiritually and emotionally wrecked. Cause lets face it, when you are on a continent where it’s hot, your tired, and the only males that speak your language are the ones you have been travelling with for a year it’s pretty easy to just close your eyes, spin in a circle, point at one and claim them as your own. Not a good choice.  

I loved hearing how shocked my squad was to find out about other squads who already had couples while they were still on the field. It meant to them it wasn't normal, it wasn't time, they listened! Then to hear that they proclaimed us as couple squashers because of how we approached the situations month one and how greatful they were for our forwardness let me know it was all worth it . Heck yes I will gladly take that title. Cause what I have in front of me is a group of people who got to side step the junk I had to wade through during and after my race. People who don’t have to regret wasted time on a dude or chick.

Now what I have is people who fought to protect their covenant and couples that are coming out of this squad knowing they didn’t compromise their journey for it. I mean shoot, I compromised my race for it, I get it, it happens. There’s no judgment on any one if they did do that. I am just glad to be on this side of it now and know there are less broken hearts at the end of this thing because we decided to suck it up and dive into the awkward uncomfortable things head first.