Normals not really for me.

"In America there’s a generation that’s experiencing more options then any generation in all of history. So the tendency to materialism is so available. The instant access, to internet, entertainment, to travel, there are so many choices. What excites me the most is choices are powerful in the midst of many options not in the midst of no options. I think were going to see the most powerful generation the world has ever seen come out of an environment that gives them options. A generation is going to rise that the yes in their spirit is going to be so loud that it's going to drown out anything else."

                                                                                    -Founder of Jesus Culture.

I absolutely love this quote, mainly because it is so true and I see it happening all over the place. A generation that is opting out of the traditional, and running towards the father’s heart.

I didn’t realize how much I resonated with it until recently. I realized he’s not talking about some generation, he’s talking about my generation, He’s talking about me.

You see recently, everything has been going really well. I have been so absorbed in the fathers heart, and life has been unfolding in crazy amounts of favor. Joy became something I didn’t have to fight for, but instead dwelled in on a regular basis. Yet, something felt off.

So I did what I always do and journaled it out, processing my heart and where I was at, Till God said stop. Stop telling me what you think I want to hear, and get real. Well shoot dang, that’s an invitation to honesty if I’ve ever heard one. So, I did just that, and what came out surprised me.

You see at the end of last year I asked to be released from an organization I had been working with. Knowing it was time for me to figure out who I was outside of the context of people who thought the same way I did, loved the same way I did, and figure out what my heart actually beat for.

I left wanting to know who I was when no one else was watching, what my passions were when other people weren’t helping to fuel them. To discover, if I was who I was because I was supposed to be that person, or if it’s just who the father made me to be.

Turns out, it doesn’t matter where I am or what I am doing my heart beat is the same. To see my generation rise up and step out in faith, to walk boldly in who they are and know they are enough because Jesus says they are.  To see redemption and renewal poured out on broken spirits and lives. To be a crazy spirit filled woman, that doesn’t settle for less then his kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.

So, when God told me to be honest, I knew it was time. It took one second before it all came pouring out. How everythings great, and that’s awesome but I don’t want it. I don’t want a normal life, one that makes sense. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to live with in my own means of what I can accomplish on my own. I don’t want to just talk about jumping out in faith I want to live a life that does it. That jumps when the world tells you not to, that trusts and believes for more then what is right in front of me. 

A long time ago, I said the words that changed my life forever. I said yes. I said yes to following where he leads, to speaking when he speaks, praying when he prays. I said yes and it has covered everything since then. When I left Adventures (aim), I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t choosing something because it was easy, or expected. I wanted to do it because I was made to do it.  Not out of a lack of options.

Well I have had crazy favor laid out in my life in Colorado, and seen how success would follow me if I chose that path and yet it’s not what I want. Amidst all of my options I am choosing blind faith and following. I may not know exactly what is next, but I know it will be unexpected, and probably come out of left field. It may look sporadic, but it’s how I’m wired.  My heart and faith are stable, and with open hands I say, yes.