Did he make a left where he was supposed to make a right?
Could he not find me locked in my tower? Waiting.
It was only this week, while sitting down to breakfast with my mother that she looked me in the eyes and said, "Hailey, if you want to get married ever, you should probably go meet people cause no ones going to be falling through your roof anytime soon" Sometimes, I just want to squeeze that woman, cause she is so darn precious.
I have hit that point in my life. You know the one, where you hit a certain age and suddenly everyone you know has an opinion on your love life, or lack thereof. I always thought I had gotten off scott free in that department. I was the daughter who choose my life, over love. Who choose college, then the world, then the world again. I was the "live my life to the fullest before you ever get tied down daughter". I had chosen that life for myself, and I was used to being celebrated for it.
When people would say things like, "My grandma won't stop making comments about how she wants me to have great grand children", I would stand there proud with the retort of, "I never have that problem, my family tells me to go after my goals with as much passion as I can muster. To not worry about the rest until the time is right." Well, turning 24 must have been the expiration on "the right time" talk, cause suddenly it was replaced with a, "You need to settle down and meet someone soon, you won't be young forever" talk. Say what? This was definitely uncharted territory for me.
I was used to being the wise one who waited, now I was suddenly the soon to be spinster? This was of course coupled with me feeling like a spinster. As my news feed was cluttered with more engagement announcements and baby pictures then I could handle. This was the year my singleness became blaringly obvious to not only me but apparently the rest of the world as well. Maybe it was the returning to America, "now that your here your life can fall into place" idea or the "holy crap your going to be twenty-five this year, which means your almost thirty, which means ...." I don't even know what that means.
This time last year, I was in a small room in Kenya with 3 other girls, talking about love and valentines day and realizing how content I was. I had recently let my heart heal from a what could have been- but never actually happened boy scenario that had played out the year before and I was happy just being me. I was where I was supposed to be and felt no need to rush into any relationship anytime soon. I knew who I was.
This year I feel similarly. With a little side note of "please hurry". Cause as content as I am in who I am and who the Lord is, I still want that person to walk through life with. To take steps towards our future together, though I know deciding on my own is easier, I'm willing to trade it all in. I have lived in community too much to think that marriage will be easy. Two people with differing ideas about life can and will get messy. It's time that I make the trade.
For now, I will live vicariously through Pride and Prejudice, and text miss Joyface anytime the loneliness kicks in and I feel like a failure in the settling down department or anxious that this in fact not just a season and is in fact my life. It really is a good thing that the majority of the lovely ladies in my life are 25 + and still rocking it single so we can all have our "quarter life, shouldn't we have kids by now crisis" together.
Come on Romeo, we practically have signs posted on our forehead, no excuses now.
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